{"product_id":"eww-people-funny-candle","title":"Eww People Funny Candle","description":"\u003ch2\u003eEww, People — The Candle for Proud Introverts\u003c\/h2\u003e\u003cp\u003eFinally, a candle that truly gets you. Whether you're canceling plans for the third time this week, ignoring texts with Olympic-level commitment, or simply savoring the bliss of an empty house, this candle was made for you. Hand-poured on a family farm in Lebanon, Missouri, the \"Eww, People\" candle is a love letter to staying in — and it smells absolutely incredible while you do it.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ch2\u003eWhy Archie Knows You'll Love It\u003c\/h2\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cb\u003eThe Ultimate Introvert Anthem:\u003c\/b\u003e Hilarious, relatable, and perfect as a gift for any homebody — or as a treat to yourself. No explanation required.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cb\u003e80–100 Hour Burn Time:\u003c\/b\u003e A massive 16oz mason jar (Net Wt 13.5 oz) of pure solitude. Your personal sanctuary, scented and sealed.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cb\u003e100% Natural Soy Wax:\u003c\/b\u003e Small-batch, hand-poured with clean-burning soy wax. No paraffin, no synthetic dyes, no irritants — just premium fragrance and peace and quiet.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cb\u003eLead-Free Cotton Wick:\u003c\/b\u003e Phthalate-free fragrance oils for maximum scent throw without toxic black soot. Your nose deserves better.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cb\u003e100% Made in the USA:\u003c\/b\u003e Proudly crafted by the Lebanon Candle Company on their Missouri family farm. Every ingredient, domestic.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cb\u003eReusable Mason Jar:\u003c\/b\u003e When the candle's done, clean it out and repurpose it — snacks, spare change, iced coffee for your next solo Netflix marathon.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003ch2\u003eThe \"Eww, People\" Scent Menu\u003c\/h2\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cb\u003eFresh Linen (The \"Safe Space\" Scent):\u003c\/b\u003e A light, airy blend of powder and musk. Clean sheets, zero knocking. The ultimate dream.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cb\u003eBlack Raspberry Vanilla (Sweet Seclusion):\u003c\/b\u003e Our #1 customer favorite. Ripe berries and creamy vanilla — a luxury retreat you never have to leave.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cb\u003eSun Washed Citrus (The Mood Lifter):\u003c\/b\u003e Zesty lemon and agave for a bright, refreshing atmosphere. Sunshine without the people.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cb\u003eSandalwood \u0026amp; Suede (The \"Library Quiet\" Blend):\u003c\/b\u003e Cedarwood and velvet musk — expensive books and peaceful confidence in a jar.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cb\u003eApples \u0026amp; Bourbon (The \"No Guests\" Happy Hour):\u003c\/b\u003e Warm orchard apples and smooth bourbon. Drinks for one, zero small talk.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cb\u003eButt Naked (Tropical Isolation):\u003c\/b\u003e Melon, pear, and strawberry. Staying home, smelling like a private island.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cb\u003eFresh Cut Roses (A Bouquet for One):\u003c\/b\u003e A true, deep rose fragrance. 100 hours of floral luxury on your terms.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003ch2\u003eProduct Details\u003c\/h2\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSize: 16 oz mason jar (Net Wt 13.5 oz)\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eBurn Time: 80–100 hours\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eWax: 100% natural soy\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eWick: All-natural, lead-free cotton\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eFragrance: Phthalate-free\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eAvailable Scents: Apples \u0026amp; Bourbon, Black Raspberry Vanilla, Butt Naked, Fresh Cut Roses, Fresh Linen, Sandalwood \u0026amp; Suede, Sun Washed Citrus\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eMade in: Lebanon, Missouri, USA\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e","brand":"Lebanon Candle Company","offers":[{"title":"Apples \u0026 Bourbon","offer_id":67760189800642,"sku":"Eww-Ppl-AB","price":19.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black Raspberry \u0026 Vanilla","offer_id":67760189833410,"sku":"Eww-Ppl-BRV","price":19.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Butt Naked","offer_id":67760189866178,"sku":"Eww-Ppl-BUTT","price":19.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Fresh Cut Roses","offer_id":67760189898946,"sku":"Eww-Ppl-Rose","price":19.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Fresh Linen","offer_id":67760189931714,"sku":"Eww-Ppl-Fresh","price":19.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sandalwood \u0026 Suede","offer_id":67760189964482,"sku":"Eww-Ppl-Sndl","price":19.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sun Washed Citrus","offer_id":67760189997250,"sku":"Eww-Ppl-Sun","price":19.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0775\/9177\/3378\/files\/EWW_PeopleCandle_705x_crop_center_1.jpg?v=1791756674","url":"https:\/\/archieknows.co\/products\/eww-people-funny-candle","provider":"Archie Knows!","version":"1.0","type":"link"}